Navigating silver years

Try to spend some time with Nature; even if you are in a concrete jungle, you can always gaze at the sky!
| Photo Credit: Getty Images/iStockphoto

Writers from time immemorial had been categorising old age under ‘second childhood’. What exactly leads to senior citizens getting tagged this way? Yes, our bodies have lost their energy and so have our minds. Is it because we have become vulnerable like a baby again?.

Recently, I had to spend a couple of days at a posh senior citizen home in my city. Seeing senior citizens all around me was a new experience for me .One thing that struck me was that most of the seniors there were trying to keep themselves active, in spite of the many physical challenges they had to face. Another beautiful thing was many had opted to stay there after their retirement with their octogenarian or nonagenarian fathers or mothers! Yes, India is evolving. With cutting edge medical facilities, we are destined to live longer unlike our forefathers and also take care of our very old parents. Taking care of an old parent can be draining in many ways, that too if you are a senior citizen yourself! In fact, a lady who was in her sixties confided to me that taking care of her mother who had been struggling with acute dementia for many years had left her so drained that she moved to a senior citizens home, entrusting her mother to the care of an attender. I felt really sorry for her when she told me that she was craving for some time to do nothing. This is a scenario that is going to be very common in India in future.

Old age comes with its fair share of physical problems. Our sight and hearing may not be as sharp as it used to be. With old age comes the demon of loneliness too. But we should never forget the fact that these twilight years can be turned radiant, because we have with us decades of wisdom and experience that we never had in our first childhood.

Let me explain how this second childhood can be made more vibrant and less emotionally draining. We need to learn to be kind to ourselves. Did your fumbling butter fingers drop that pickle bottle? Well, it is OK .No need to get worked up about it. Remember the number of times your dear munchkins would have broken glasses or window panes in your house when they were young. You are now a grey-haired child with a toothless smile. Give life your best smile and try not to step on the glass pieces. Don’t fret about it. You have to take it in your stride and move on, as a child would rightly do. After all, dwelling on negative things was something that we learned as adults. Let us stick to the positive aspects of second childhood.

Another important thing we have to learn is to alter our plans at the last minute and remain unperturbed. Remember the time your dream travel had to be cancelled due to your toddler falling sick or spraining his ankle? The same can happen with you too. You might spend many months planning a pilgrimage or a visit to an exotic place. An indisposition of your spouse or yourself can drown all your plans. Again as a child who forgets his worries in a jiffy, we too have to move on and not delve too deep into our disappointments.

We have arrived at this phase of our second childhood with large baggage. This baggage is full of the lessons we have learned in our life time and the wisdom that has sprouted alongside. Go catch up with your old buddies. Hang out with your dear ones whenever you can. If you can’t do it, there is always the virtual platforms to fall back on. Watch your favourite movies on an OTT platform (it is OK if you doze off in the middle, you can always catch up). Try to spend some time with Nature; even if you are in a concrete jungle, you can always gaze at the sky! The myriad hues of the sky can be as refreshing as a cuckoo’s song. Do not ever regret growing old. It is a privilege that has been denied to many in this world!

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